Under The Umbrella
by wordmysteries
Summary: After finding himself alone in a strange city in America, Harry meets a few people that he decides he likes. Dark!Harry, ALittleCrazy!Harry, tomarry later on. Crossover involving the Joker and Harley Quinn.
1. Chapter 1

Hi! This is my first story on this site. If you want to read it on AO3, I also posted under the same username. And just a disclaimer, I'm not as knowledgeable about Joker, Harley Quinn, etc., as I am with Harry Potter and it will probably show. If you have any suggestions later on when I'm getting more into the story, please let me know.

This is inspired by CrazyJanaCat and her work Prince of Clowns. I loved that book so much. You should check it out if you're into that kinda thing. :)

* * *

Petunia liked that Vernon held a very high position in his job. The higher position, the more money, the better her life could look on the outside. An advantage was a better lifestyle for her Dudders. She would make sure he grew up with only the best. Because that's what he deserved. Unlike the Boy. Petunia knew that they had more than enough money to make sure Boy could have everything that Dudley had. It wasn't that, really. But she couldn't bring herself to care about that. He was the one that single-handedly ruined her life. Why would she care?

Since he was the bane of her existence, then she could make it seem like he was the bane of everyone's existence. That she was only doing a public service taking in her dead sister's troubled baby. To help him, of course. She would never do that, though. He didn't deserve their help. When Boy was dropped on their doorstep six years ago, she had been terrified. Terrified that monster of a man that killed Lily would find her family and kill them. The letter stated that if they kept the boy that wouldn't happen, so of course they kept him. But, Petunia was getting tired of him, not that she wasn't tired of him from the beginning. Never doing what he was told, cutting her flowers, and wreaking general havoc, Boy was a handful.

Vernon thought he could beat some sense into the boy, but alas, nothing worked. He couldn't focus on beating the boy when he was giggling and trying to scrub his blood off the floor at the same time. Even worse, the next morning he would be completely healed liked nothing happened. Petunia hated that. When it happened she would bash his head with the frying pan and yell at him to go back to his cupboard. She couldn't stand freaks.

Petunia knew that they weren't supposed to treat a child like that. That it was considered child abuse. But Boy wasn't really a child. He wasn't even human. And in her books, that made them exempt from the rule. If anyone found out, which wouldn't happen, she would tell them the truth. They would understand, surely.

Petunia was packing a bag for herself and Vernon. She had already packed her Dudley's bag an hour before, making sure to sneak some chocolate bars just in case he got hungry. Since Vernon was so high up in his work, he was chosen to go promote his business overseas in America. The great thing about this was that it was free of charge and he was allowed to bring his whole family along. The bad thing about it was that they had to bring Boy. When she told him that they were going, and to start packing his measly belongings, she saw a light in his eyes, excitement, and promptly slapped him before going to pack Dudder's bag. She couldn't let him think that this trip was going to be fun for him. Because it wasn't. She would make sure of that.

Going to America has always been a dream of Petunia's. There was no way in heaven or hell that she would let Boy ruin that. Since she got that letter six years ago and was forced to take the Boy, nothing went her way and she wanted to change that. A few words with Vernon and a few internet searches and she had a plan set. She wasn't scared anymore. Six years of nothing only brought up her confidence on the issue. And this trip to America was the perfect time to get rid of him. They're not going to find him in America, that's for sure. And after the trip, since Vernon is a shoo-in for that new promotion, they would move their family to Cheshire. Although it was less populated, they would still fit into the background, unseen by any freak. They would never have to see the Boy again.

* * *

Harry Potter liked to play. Putting on a different face for everyone he met was a game to him. It kept him interested; it kept him on his feet. In front of Petunia, he was a delinquent that didn't know how to act. In front of Vernon, he was a freak who liked pain, especially when Vernon beat him. (How else was Harry going to weird Vernon out of beating him?) In front of Dudley, he took every opportunity he could to make him look like an idiot. He didn't know how he did it, but sometimes when Harry wanted Dudley to trip and fall, he would trip and fall. It was easy and gave him something to laugh about later. It was like superpowers.

Of course, in front of everyone else, he acted like a prince that could do no wrong. But only to mess with the Dursley's reputation. Why else would it be any fun? He liked watching people slowly start to hate the Dursley's, even if it isn't as much as he does. Not that he was saying it happened a lot, because it didn't, but so far, three people had fallen for it. He was only in Year 2 (first grade?), so he had a lot more opportunities.

Although there were many reasons for a person to hate the Dursley's, Harry found an intense satisfaction that they had no control over how Harry portrayed them. Like he said, it was game. A game he was very good at. And since he was so very good at this game, it was no setback at all when Petunia told him that they were taking a trip to America. Looking into Petunia's eyes, he knew she had a plan for him, even if he didn't know what it was.

He didn't really care about it anyways. They weren't allowed to kill him. He knew that. It was against the law and would put them in big trouble. He read about that in the school library. Harry wondered how he could get them in trouble over in America. Maybe he could frame them for his murder? That would be funny, Harry thought. He knew how to hide. It was a game he was made to be really good at from the time he could walk. How does one frame someone for a murder, though? Hmm. Maybe he'll just run away and when they come back with no kid, they'll get in trouble. He really wants them to get in trouble. Though, Harry shook his head, that could backfire. Harry wished he knew more about America and its laws. Knowing even a tiny bit of information could help him in the end.

Stepping outside to clip the flowers, Harry breathed in the fresh air, not lingering in case Vernon saw him standing about. Settling down in front of the flower bed, he stuck his hands in the dirt and started messing with it, giving the illusion of him working to anyone that passed and didn't look all that close. Feeling bored, he thought more about America. This was going to be his first trip. Whenever the Dursley's went on a trip somewhere far away, they never took him, opting to leave him with Mrs. Figg, that crazy cat lady that lived a street over. He liked being overly nice and pure around her because she always gave him food. And when she didn't, he would go back the next day when she wasn't around and kill one of her cats. She couldn't possibly remember all of them anyways, so no one could ever try to blame him. Just knowing that she wouldn't realize that one of her cats was gone made him laugh. She sure loved them, didn't she.

Harry had no idea why he was being made to go, but he didn't really care. He thought it would be fun. All new people to manipulate. He found that word when he was reading a dictionary one day. He thought it described him very well and decided to use it in his mind as often as possible. Speaking of manipulating, Harry thought, glancing over at the elderly couple that thought he was an angel. Taking one of his hands out of the dirt and turning towards them, willing a dark bruise to appear on his right eye, he waved over at them, a shy smile on his face. The woman gasped when she saw his face, and the old man glared at the house, using some of those cool words that Vernon liked to use.

The woman glanced inside the house, making sure they weren't looking, before making her way over to Harry. Harry smiled at her, not saying anything, not remembering her name. She knelt down, her knees cracking with their old age.

"Dear, are you alright? Where'd you get that bruise?" She asked, her voice gentle. Inside Harry was laughing hysterically. However, he willed tears to form in his eyes, and he looked up at her. Harry found it hilarious that her face grew sadder.

"Dudley's been hitting me again, Miss," he whispered, his voice filled with fear. The woman pursed her lips and glared to the house. "Miss, I told Aunt Petunia, but she didn't care," cracking his voice, he spoke. "Dudley gets away with everything and I'm left to deal with the garden. Is that right, Miss? Do I really deserve this?" Harry had no idea where he was pulling this crap from, but it definitely wasn't his heart. The woman seemed to break right there, knowing that there wasn't anything she could do. Harry knew that her and her husband had called Child Services on the Dursley's multiple times, but the cases never went anywhere.

"Of course not, my child. You deserve the world," she smiled sadly, "I just hope to God that one day you get it." And with that, she leaned over and kissed his bruise, a stray tear falling on his face, standing and walking back to her husband. Taking one last glance at Harry, the couple continued on their walk, not in high spirits any longer. Of course I deserve the world, Harry thought chuckling at the nameless old woman.

Harry's bruise disappeared and he snorted. How could anyone fall for that? He guessed his super powers helped a bit, but really the woman was a bit over dramatic. He wondered if Americans were as easily manipulated. Probably, he thought, tilting his head and putting his hands back in the dirt. A light bulb went off in his head, making him cease movement in his hands. Americans would believe whatever crap he came up with. He was only a child. A beautiful child, in fact. People tended to believe attractive people over unattractive people more. He had no idea why, but he didn't care because it totally benefited him. All he would have to do is find an important person, come up with some silly sob story and viola! Arrested Dursleys. Perfect plan, Harry thought to himself, perfect plan.

* * *

Harry looked around the airport. The plane ride wasn't as long as he was expecting, crossing a whole ocean and all. The good thing about Vernon being chosen for this trip is that they got the best of everything. The first class plane ride was something to remember. Harry didn't have to sit anywhere near the Dursley's. On top of that, the flight attendant was obviously taken with him. She doted on him and was always asking him questions. She thought he was adorable.

Harry had fun manipulating her into thinking all kinds of crazy things about the Dursley's. After all, nice people only want something and when they get it, they go back to being their true self. Just like the Dursley's. By the end of the flight she thought that Petunia and Vernon were using money that they found in their parents house to run away to America and elope. She also told her that Dudley had terminal cancer that made him fall into a depression that caused him to eat so much. That he used those excuses to bully him, showing her his bruises to prove it. It was rather funny to see how much one person could believe before they stopped. It hadn't happened yet, so he was still waiting.

The airport was very crowded. It would have been easy to get lost had it not been that Petunia had a tight grip on his wrist to the point of bruising. He would be sure to get back at her later. Vernon and Dudley had wandered off to find some food before leaving towards their destination, even though they would probably eat there again. Harry rolled his eyes at that. He couldn't stand them being so fat and eating everything in sight when he was barely considered to be average weight. Hell, even Petunia was barely passing for a healthy weight.

Gotham City wasn't that far from the New York airport that they landed in. He didn't know why they just didn't go to the Gotham International Airport that he found when researching it on the plane. He supposed this was a more fancy airport. He didn't really care otherwise, but it was still just a thought. Harry had heard Petunia and Vernon talking about how they were staying at a rich man's mansion. That the man is the one that Vernon is promoting his business to. Harry wondered if he'll ever see the man. Maybe slip a few details about Vernon and make sure that he doesn't fund Grunnings.

Vernon and Dudley finally made it back to the seating area that they were in and Vernon handed Petunia a tiny sandwich and barely glanced over at Harry. Dudley had a chocolate ice cream cone in his hand, the ice cream steadily dripping onto his shirt and all over his face. Harry face made a short look of disgust before going back to his people watching.

"My boss made arrangements for this man to pick us up and to stay at his house," Vernon started, staring at Harry, his tone dangerous. "You will be out of sight and out of mind. You will only talk when talked to and you will not touch anything. It will be like you were never even there. Do you understand me?" Harry giggled at Vernon trying to intimidate him.

"Oh, but of course, Uncle." Petunia glared at him, her grip tightening on his wrist. He just smirked at her and looked around them. He raised an eyebrow at her when she glanced around before loosening the grip once more. He totally had her in his back pocket, he thought joyously. Petunia looked down at her fancy wrist watch and checked the time, glancing into the sea of people.

"It's almost time for us to be there."

"What was his name again, Pet? I can never remember," Vernon grumbled, throwing away his trash. Petunia discreetly rolled her eyes, only Harry noticing.

"Wayne. His name is Bruce Wayne."

* * *

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! 


	2. Chapter 2

Hi! Once again, if you want to read it on ao3, you can. Please enjoy, and thank you for reading.

* * *

They made it to their spot quickly enough. Petunia had finally let go of his wrist once he took a hold of hers. She knew he meant business and got annoyed easily, seeing it when Dudley did something to Harry. She wished she could do something about it, but nothing she did changed anything. Vernon had lost his patience when they found their name card and Bruce Wayne wasn't there himself to greet them. To him, that was the most disrespectful thing someone could do. Harry was confused because Vernon thought that anything someone did that he didn't like was the most disrespectful thing. But Harry also knew that Vernon was an idiot and didn't hold many brain cells, so he didn't question it.

All the while Vernon was ranting, Harry took his time to take a look at the man that Wayne had sent to pick them up. He was tall, white haired, and had a gentle smile. The smile showed a look of patience, but Harry could see the annoyance in his eyes. Harry had gotten good at reading people when he was a bit younger. If there was something that Harry hated more than the Dursleys, it was fake people. People that acted one way in front of everyone, but on the inside were totally different people. Harry knew that he was probably the definition of a fake person, but he didn't care. He was just selfish like that, and accepted that about himself. Harry had used this skill to his advantage multiple times for untold reasons, so it wasn't really a bad trait for him.

From the way their greeter was pointedly taking their luggage and putting it into the trunk of the long car showed how he was losing a lot of his patience. Harry had a feeling that this man was accustomed to dealing with hot-tempered people.

"Excuse me, sir, but if possible, would you please get in the vehicle," his british accent hinting at his annoyance, "Master Wayne was in a very important meeting with another client and could not come to pick you up directly."

Vernon looked like he was about to start yelling again, and that really annoyed by that. They didn't have time for this. Using his super powers, Harry pushed Dudley into a puddle on the side of the road. That would sure get them to shut up about things that really didn't matter. Petunia seemed to agree with his way of thinking and used the distraction to push Vernon into the long car before going to grab a crying Dudley. Harry rolled his eyes, honestly it's just water. He couldn't understand how Dudley was two months older than him, but still managed to act like a two year old.

Laughing silently at Dudley's predicament and stained shirt, he stepped into the front seat of the car, wanting to be as far away from the Dursley's as he could get. Harry had rarely ever ridden in a car before, always being made to walk to places that he was allowed to go. Mrs. Figg's house and school, for example. He had never ridden in this type of car before, though. Harry guessed that this was the type of car that rich people chose to drive to show off their money. Judging by the looks that people were giving their direction, he was probably right.

Startled by the car beginning to move, Harry supposed that the Dursleys finally calmed down.

"You'll tell that Wayne guy all about that, won't you?" Harry asked the man. Harry felt that man would be more amused by the question than confused. He tilted his head slightly in his direction to show that he heard him, and raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe," was all he said. Harry frowned, resting his head on his hand. That was a boring answer. Why does everyone around me have to be so boring? None of this maybe crap, he thought ironically.

Sighing, not knowing how to respond to such a boring response, Harry looked around. There were lots of buttons that he wanted to press, especially the red ones. Everything seemed to be made of leather and that made Harry want to scratch at it and tear it up. He could just imagine the man's face when he found it. He imagined him having a heart attack, his age and surprise taking over. He could just imagine-

"We're here."

Harry looked around surprised. That didn't feel like a long ride at all. Though, Harry didn't really know how far away the man's house was from the airport, either. Staring out the window, Harry was greeted by a large mansion-like house. Giggling silently imagining all the trouble that he could get up to, Harry grabbed his things and walked up to the front door ignoring Vernon's yells to get back there.

One day, Harry thought closing his eyes, I'm going to live in a castle and never let the Dursleys come near it.

Harry wondered how he should act around Wayne. Should he be silent and pure around him? Or should he make the man see the devil in his eyes? Show him true insanity? Both could turn out wonderfully amazing for him. Depending on how long they were staying there, Harry could either go out with a bang or just do it in implements. Maybe both, Harry grinned. He also had to start thinking about a better way to get the Dursleys in trouble. He didn't think he could murder them. He would have nowhere to stay and Harry didn't fancy living in a box under a bridge in a foreign country. Though, Harry didn't know how he would be able to kill Vernon and Dudley. Would any knife that he found even pierce their skin enough to do damage? There was way too much fat on the outside. To think of it, Harry can't remember ever seeing Vernon bleed. He wants to see that so bad. So bad.

Anyways- Living in a box was not an option for Harry. And he didn't think he could be nice enough to make Wayne or the man like him enough to take him in. Not that he wanted to stay with them, that is. Maybe Wayne, but definitely not the man that Harry decided right then to call Butler. He didn't think that Butler liked him. From the way he looked at him, like he knew all of his secrets. Harry didn't know if he was being dramatic and Butler just had a vision problem, or if he was sensitive to light. All he knew was that he didn't really like him either. How could he? He was so boring.

"Oi! Boy, grab Dudley's things. You've got hands, use them," Petunia whispered harshly into his ear, dragging him back to the long car. Dudley was sitting in the back and was helping himself to the sugary sweets that the car had to offer. That annoyed Harry. He hadn't anything in the past two day except stale bread and small leftovers.

Realizing that he was choking Dudley with his super powers, he took a deep breath and quickly pulled them back into him. Dudley immediately coughed up the chocolate bar, all the while Vernon and Petunia doted over him. Butler was looking at him with a knowing look. Not liking that, Harry grabbed Dudley's bad and ran back to the front door. He really didn't like it when people knew more than him. He knew that he was only seven and he wouldn't know as much as an older person, but it still made him feel inferior and he hated that feeling.

The door suddenly opened revealing a tall man in a black suit. He looked down at Harry - like he was nothing - and said, "Who are you?" First of all, rude, Harry thought, not liking this man one bit. He quickly decided that he wanted to cause as much trouble as possible, just to spite this man.

"My name is Vernon Dursley," Harry said after a second of thought. "My company sent me here to talk business with you?" The man's eyes glazed over in confusion. He obviously recognized the name.

"Excuse me-"

"Hello! I'm so sorry if my nephew was causing trouble. The sitter couldn't take him in time," Petunia interrupted, lying her arse off. They had to take me, Harry thought amused at their misfortune. The tall man, Wayne he guess, looked at her in understanding and some annoyance.

"That's quite alright, ma'am. He wasn't bothering me," his eyes glancing towards him.

"Are you sure? We can try and find a sitter, if you would prefer," Petunia pushed, hoping he would say yes. Harry rolled his eyes, mentally glaring at Petunia. Wayne seemed to notice and looked back at Petunia.

"No. It's really fine. I have more than enough room." Harry scoffed, yeah he did.

Vernon, Dudley, and Butler had finally made their way over, Vernon swiping his handkerchief over his forehead as he walked. Putting it back in his pocket, Vernon pushed Harry aside, taking his hand and thrusting it towards Wayne. Wayne looked at Vernon's hand in disgust and pointedly declined, claiming to be a germaphobe. And by the look on Butler's face, Harry could tell that wasn't exactly true.

"Well, come on then. Invite them in Master Wayne." Wayne seemed to finally realize that they were still standing in the doorway and quickly invited them inside.

"Please make yourself at home. Alfred will show you to your rooms," Wayne said standing awkwardly. "We will talk more at dinner," he directed towards Vernon. Vernon wanted to say more, but Wayne turned on his heel and walked off, going to do whatever rich people did.

Harry looked around. It was the most fancy house he had ever seen. And he lived on Privet Drive. Hell, Harry thought, the rug that we're standing on probably cost more than Vernon's car. God, he hated rich people. Unless it was him, he guessed.

He noticed that the Dursleys had started walking away without him so he quickened his pace to catch up with them and followed. Butler, or Alfred was pointing towards doors, telling the Dursleys what they were and what was in the rooms. Harry wasn't listening, not interested, of course. He didn't really care. He didn't think that he was going to need to stay here long enough to remember the rooms. With him getting the Dursleys in trouble, that is. He still hadn't figured out what he was to do yet, but he had a pretty good idea that it was going to be epic. The Dursleys would get hurt some how. He would make sure of that.

Vernon and Petunia were talking quietly to Butler while looking his way. Harry guessed that they were trying to get him moved far away from them. Who knows what they were saying about him. Seeing as Dudley was nowhere to be seen, he was already given a room. Harry didn't really care where he went. It had to be better than his cupboard at home if anything.

They seemed to be done talking when Butler looked his way and nodded, his eyes narrowed. At what, who knew. Great, Harry thought, spreading more lies. Wonder what it was this time. Giggling silently, Harry thought of all the things that they could have possibly said and how he could work the situation. He hoped it was juicy.

Petunia and Vernon looked at him with their poorly hid disgust before entering a room on their left. Butler stared at him silently as if deciding whether or not they were trustful. He quickly turned around and began walking. Harry began following, trying to memorise the way so he wouldn't get lost. He almost did lose could of the amount of turns that they made and wondered what Petunia could have said to make him take him this far away. Nothing bad I hope, Harry grinned. Butler stopped abruptly and made Harry bump into his back. Brushing him off, Butler pointed to a door that looked like it had been bashed in multiple times. It looked so different than the design of the rest of the house. Harry rolled his eyes. Really Petunia?

"This will be your room for your weeks stay. Your Aunt has… informed me of your problem," Butler started, making Harry confused. "No one will be able to hear you, so don't worry about waking us. I will also be giving you some medicine before you go to bed to help ease the night terrors,-" Butler explained. Harry however, stopped listening already bored with the conversation.

I scream in my sleep because of night terrors, Harry thought, laughing silently. Petunia probably told them about his parents crash. The one that gave him his scar, the one that killed his parents. Harry giggled. This was perfect. If certain things that he read on the internet about Wayne was true, then he had a few plans concerning that. It would definitely mess with the Dursleys.

Butler seemed to notice that Harry wasn't listening and guessed that Harry was thinking of his parents. He wasn't, but it was a nice thought he guessed. Butler cleared his throat to get Harry's attention.

"Anyways, I'll come for you at six for dinner." With that. Butler turned on his heel, probably to go back through that maze of house.

Harry chuckled at his aloofness. It was obvious that he didn't really deal with a lot of people. Rolling his eyes, Harry looked back at the door to his temporary room. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door. He didn't know what he was expecting, but the room looked fairly normal.

The room was about the size of the Dursley's living room and have a large four poster bed sitting right in the middle. Harry sat his things down in front of the bed, not planning on unpacking. He had plans and he wondered if this Wayne guy would rise to the bait. A smirk slowly forming on his face, he silently began going over his plans.

* * *

When the clock hit six, Butler was already on the outside of his door. Harry would have been surprised if it wasn't for the fact that for Butler was the person getting him. He seemed like the person to always be early for things, faintly reminding him of teacher that he had. The teacher was always early for everything. Even early to end the school year. He only lasted one month of the school year before he finally had enough. No one could ever prove anything, but whenever the teacher was brought up, Harry always had a grin on his face.

Walking back through the maze, trying very hard to remember the way, Butler and Harry silently made it to the dining room. Upon entering the dining room, Harry mentally rolled his eyes. Petunia and Vernon were on both sides of Wayne, leaning towards him in a way that even made Harry uncomfortable. Vernon was talking about his stupid business while Petunia was there for moral support, occasionally adding something of her own. Time to start the show, Harry grinned.

"Mr. Potter is here." Everyone looked in their direction. Dudley shrugged in disinterest while his parents tried to turn Wayne's attention back to them. Taking a seat farthest away from everyone, Harry grinned at Petunia's face when he took his first bite. It was delicious and it must of shown on his face.

"So, Mr. Wayne," he started, interrupting Vernon's rant about broken drills. He immediately got his attention, Wayne probably not interested in the conversation he was in at all. "I looked you up on the internet. You're pretty famous, huh?" Wayne furrowed his eyebrows, confused on the direction the conversation suddenly went.

"I guess you could say that, Mr. Potter," he hesitantly answered. "Mostly in the business world," he lied. Wayne was obviously uncomfortable with the statement.

"Of course he's famous in the business world! Wayne Enterprises is a very wealthy and successful company," Vernon shouted out with a nervous laugh. Vernon was scared that he was going to ruin his business deal. He was totally correct, amazingly, however.

"No, no, no, no. That's not what I'm talking about," Harry dragged out his words, a childish lilt in his tone. "I'm talking about your parents, silly," he giggled. Wayne's face hardened. "I mean, isn't it cool that we're both orphans?" Harry's giggles didn't stop there. "That means we're twinsies," his grin widened. Wayne's face softened and he looked uncomfortable.

"Sure, Mr. Potter."

"Oh, call me Harry. We're twinsies!" He gave Harry a thin smile.

"Harry, then."

Harry grinned, this is going to be so fun.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few days passed quickly for Harry. If he wasn't messing around with the Dursleys, then he could be found exploring the mansion, trying to memorize the halls. And no matter how many times Petunia caught him and told him that he had to get back to his room, or else he would be in _very big trouble, _he always got 'lost' on the way to his room. Of course, the way to his room was the first thing that he memorized, so he didn't have that much trouble finding his battered old door. But Petunia didn't know that, so it was a win in his courts.

Harry couldn't remember having this much fun in his entire life, even counting the times where he was alone for hours and was able to kill Mrs. Figg's cats without anyone hearing. He absent-mindedly wondered if humans would scream as much as the cats did. He loved that he could wreak havoc and the Dursleys couldn't do anything about it. He could literally feel Petunia's anger every time he did something that she considered bad though it just made him want to do it more. It was also hilarious that Vernon was getting so frustrated with him and almost everyone else over the fact that he couldn't punish him. Not only was it making him snappy with Petunia, but it was also making him snappy with Wayne and Butler as well. Harry could see the surprise on their faces every time it happened. Wayne looked like he wanted to blow and do breathing exercises at the same time, and in Butler's case, he almost always left the room, his experiences in dealing with hot-tempered people most likely coming in.

Harry honestly couldn't get enough of it. Dudley was going crazy not knowing what was going on. He was terribly confused when both of his parents weren't punishing him. He even tried to punish him himself one time. Though Butler had saw what happened and immediately told Petunia and Vernon about it. And while Petunia and Vernon wanted to say something so much, they had to act as if he was an actual human child that wasn't a freak. That must of hurt. Really. And though Butler went through all of that work to tell them, nothing really came from it. Unless you count a really uncomfortable Petunia telling Dudley that he shouldn't have done what he did. Harry was satisfied, though. He had been able to catch Dudley when he wasn't paying attention. He used his super powers on him, making Harry feel a great deal better.

Harry was trying to use them sparingly, knowing that he really didn't like the looks that he got from Butler when something 'strange' happened. He really couldn't help it when he used them unconsciously when they first arrived.

Playing with Wayne and Butler was a lot more fun than he could admit. The amount of times Harry _accidentally _broke a vase only to blame it on Dudley was far too many to be actually believable. Though they always did for some reason. It made him laugh seeing Butler's face turn a shade of red that he thought was reserved for Vernon.

Wayne's reactions were more funny if anyone could believe it. He would always make sure to run away from the scene of the crime and watch from afar. Getting yelled at the first time for at least five minutes wasn't on his bucket lists ever. And he really didn't want a repeat of that. But when he was around the corner, he always watched as Wayne got increasingly frustrated at not being able to find the culprit. And how he tried.

Harry used his super powers to make himself invisible, a new trait that he learned when running away from Butler. Harry was, however, disappointed when he totally thought he was knocking over Wayne's parent's ashes, but it just turned out to be an empty flower vase that was weirdly shaped like an urn. And that was only some of the things that he got up to. He honestly thought that he could do a million more things if he just had more time.

More importantly, Harry was putting the final details on his big plan to get the Dursleys in trouble. He'd have to do it right before they left or else would have to wait until they got back to England. And he really didn't want to do it there. He had new people here and he could make everyone see a new person. Since he was a new person to them. They didn't know anything about him and he wanted to use that to his advantage. It was too exciting to think about. Harry knew that Wayne would definitely not take him in now, so Harry had found another solution to his problem. He was on the fence about it though because there were no absolutes when it came to getting rid of your guardians as a minor. But, if none of his plan worked out, he had enough money to last a while.

He had figured out how American currency worked fast enough and stealing from the Dursleys and Wayne was way too easy of a feat. Plus, he knew how to do chores, so if he ran out of money, which he doubted, he could always do that for old people. (People that he knew he was really good at manipulating.) That would surely give him some change to spare. Maybe more if he gave them a sob story or two, after making bruises appear on his body. And if that failed, he would just pick pocket. He was pretty good at that, if he said so himself. So there was no trouble there. The future could only tell, though, Harry silently thought, hearing a knock on his door.

"Come in," he called sweetly.

It turned out to be Vernon. Harry was confused as he didn't that Vernon knew where his room was. He quickly looked behind him and saw Butler's retreating back. He was kinda surprised that Butler was letting them be alone with him in his room after trying to keep them apart all week. Harry suspected that Butler somehow knew that Vernon was a danger to him. Not that Harry couldn't take Vernon down with a single thought (through his super powers) instantly. But Butler didn't know that.

"Boy, are you listening to me?" Harry grinned.

"Nope," he replied, popping the 'p'. Vernon's face turned a familiar shade of purple.

"You know that we're in a room where no one can hear anything from, right?" Vernon asked, a dangerous glint in eyes. Harry wanted to laugh. Did Vernon thing he was an idiot. Probably, he thought. Vernon is the idiot, though.

"Of course, Uncle," Harry said, a grin splitting his face. He continued, the grin not slipping, "But you do know that whatever you do to me will be retold over and over again. I can make the bruises stay longer. I can make everyone know what a piece of crap you are." Vernon was getting angrier and angrier. "No one knows you here, Vernon. And one word from me? Well, the only thing you'll be able to do for the next 20 years is stare at American prison walls."

Harry let that sink in while he started getting ready. He had heard from Butler earlier that they were being taken out to dinner to send them off. He was about to put his flannel on when a hand grabbed the back of his head, pulling him to the floor. Vernon hadn't headed his warning it looked like.

"You piece of shit! How dare you talk to me that way." Vernon took no time at all punching him in the stomach, knocking the air out of his lungs. Harry let it go on a little bit more, finding the whole situation funny, but if Vernon said something that he didn't like, he would put a stop to it. "Petunia and I took you in all those years ago and this is how you repay us? Huh?" Vernon screamed, yanking his head up in his view. Harry gave him a quiet giggle at his efforts, but made no move to stop the beatings, not feeling such a rush in weeks. It was honestly a new record.

However when Vernon grabbed his waist to throw him on the floor, he used his superpowers and pushed him off immediately. Harry couldn't help himself and started laughing. Oh my God, that tickled, Harry thought. Harry loved being tickled, it never really being done to him before. And he was very ticklish. Harry's laughter made Vernon even angrier.

"What was that!?" Harry's laughter didn't die down though. Vernon grabbed Harry by the throat.

"I said what was that!?" Harry paused, confused.

"What was what?" A giggle still in his tone.

"How'd you do that? Why'd you do that?" Vernon yelled in his face.

"What, this?" Harry held his hand up and forcefully removed Vernon from his person using his super powers. Vernon's face took on a terrified look.

"You will not do your _magic,_" he spat the word, "ever again!" He yelled before running out the door. Hmm. I didn't use my super powers to hurt him that much, Harry thought. Magic is a good term though. I think I'm going to call my super powers that from now on, he thought. Whatever, he continued, I'm just going to keep getting ready.

Harry willed bruises to his arm so if his sleeves rolled up, one of the men would see. It was all a part of his plan, of course. He had warned Vernon what would happen if he tried something with him. He may have been surprised by what had happened and even a little confused, but he still wasn't letting him get off on nothing.

"Everyone hurry up now. The reservation is at six!" Butler said in an exasperated tone. Harry could tell that he had been trying to get everyone ready for a while now. Him, having known the Dursleys could be late to almost anything, sympathized for him. Wayne looked bored and Harry knew that he didn't want to be there. Back when he was eavesdropping on Wayne and Butler, from which he got the information on the dinner, he heard a couple of things.

Harry had just broken a vase and went to hide, but he couldn't hear Butler or Wayne yelling, so he was confused. He wondered if they had finally stopped caring. He would have to find something new to annoy them, which wouldn't be so difficult. Though, Harry didn't think that was the case. Deciding that there was no use hiding if they weren't going to get angry, Harry quickly left his hiding spot, making sure not to alert anyone of his presence.

He quickly made his way down the hall away from the scene of the crime and set off to find Wayne and Butler. He was only briefly looking at the rooms. However he stopped when he heard quiet voices. Not hearing good enough, he reached out to his superpowers and tried very hard to listen in on the conversation.

"-are you honestly considering going for that business deal?" he heard Butler say. Wayne scoffed a second later, showing his displeasure for the subject of the matter.

"No, of course not," Harry heard a pause and guessed he was rolling his eyes. "Have you seen how he's acting? How can you expect him to be able to keep control of his company when he can't even keep control of his beasts he calls children?" He continued.

Harry wanted to laugh. Is that what he really thought of him? He had hoped that he left a better impression on his, but oh well.

"I can definitely understand that, Master Bruce," Butler sounded exhausted.

Harry listened to them talk for a couple more minutes before their conversation turned back to them.

"I think I'm going to take them out to dinner. Paid for by me, of course. That will surely help soften the blow. They do love their food," Wayne suggested. "Anything to get rid of them." Butler hummed at that.

"Ah, yes. Surely," he repeated.

That had been yesterday. Harry was pretty excited. For one, he was able to ride in that long car again, and two he got to get out of this mansion. Harry was used to being able to leave whenever he wanted. (Not including chores.) Being stuck in that, albeit, huge mansion, Harry was going a little crazy.

Everyone had finally gotten out the door and successfully made it to the car. Harry watched as Wayne sat in the front seat and wanted to curse. That meant he had to sit with the Dursleys. He didn't like sitting with them for a couple of reasons. Everytime that he was made to sit with them, they always talked about how he had to follow the rules while throwing empty threats his way. All of the threats that they told him would kill him and he was still up and kicking. They would just nag, nag, and nag him. He would also have to sit in front of Dudley who always seemed to have food on him, even when there wasn't any around. He didn't know where he put it. He had fun playing a guessing game of where he did leave it, sometimes being disgusted by his own thoughts.

Hesitantly, he made his way to the car and picked the side that was closest to the front. Harry saw that the Dursleys made their way to the back of the car as if they were the important ones. Obviously if Wayne wasn't sitting back there, they had to realize that he didn't like them, right? Harry didn't want to overestimate their intelligence by assuming that they could figure it out on their own, but who knew?

The entire ride to the restaurant, Petunia and Vernon just stared at him from across the car, a weird look in their eyes. Harry imagined that Vernon probably told her what had happened. He still didn't understand what scared Vernon that much. He had shown his magic (yeah, he definitely liked saying that a lot more.) before, so he didn't think it was that. Oh! Maybe they had plans for him like he had plans for them. That would be so much fun, Harry thought. Probably different plans, but that would be okay. Beggars can't be choosers.

Pulling in the parking lot of a restaurant he didn't recognize, Harry unbuckled his seat belt, not looking at the Dursleys. They quickly made it inside of the packed restaurant, skipping the line entirely when Wayne gave his name. Harry loved seeing the reactions of the customers when they saw the Dursleys and him with someone like Wayne. He knew that he was very well known in the city and could be easily recognized by almost everyone.

Before they reached their table, Petunia grabbed his arm harshly and bent down to his ear.

"You are going to order the least expensive thing, and a water. You aren't going to say one thing during this meal, and after it is over, you aren't going to speak until we get back." Harry giggled, pain pulsing through his wrist. He definitely wasn't going to do that. But to appease Petunia, and let her heart have a tiny rest, he smiled and nodded.

The dinner passed by quickly. Harry got bored of listening in on Wayne and Vernon talk after ten minutes. Harry didn't know why Wayne hadn't told Vernon that he wasn't going with the business deal yet, but he didn't really care. He had really good food (not that expensive, but not the least expensive.) and he got to mess with Dudley. Petunia and Butler were having a separate conversation away from Wayne and Vernon, quietly. He didn't care enough about either of them to try and listen in.

"Grunnings record when it comes to big companies is very great," Vernon started. He had said that exact sentence about ten times this week, and it looked like he wasn't done with it yet.

"Yes, I see that, but do you have proof of that? I have seen no papers that are confirming your claims."

"I don't have them with me, of course. But I can get them sent to you in a few days once I'm back in England."

"How is that supposed to help me decide if I should go with your company?"

"Well-" Vernon was cut off by a scream. The entire table got silent and listened for more. The scream seemed to have come from the front of the restaurant. They were in the back. Harry could tell the difference between a scream of joy and a scream of fear. He kind of liked it, not having hearing it enough in his young life. He had the occasional dream of a woman, that he presumed was his mother, screaming his name. That was his favorite dream, he giggled dreamily.

Most of the people in the restaurant were quickly trying to make their exit as more screams were heard. Wayne and Butler didn't seem phased, or so he thought. On Butler and Wayne's side, they were having a panicked conversation on what to do. There had been a rise in the crime rate lately and they couldn't decide whether or not to leave them and go change.

Harry was having fun watching the Dursleys get scared out of their mind. They probably never had to deal with a robbery in their life. Which is what Harry assumed was going on. This was an expensive restaurant and all the customers had their most expensive clothes and accessories on. The place had little to no security and Harry decided to applaud whatever rookie robber that chose this specific place.

However, the screams were getting closer and closer and Harry saw Butler and Wayne slip out the back, which he assumed that the others were too stupid to notice. Wayne was a terrible person, Harry thought giggling slightly. How could he just leave them there when they had come with him. Oh well. Time for the show.

He was roughly pushed in front of the Dursleys when the supposed robbers got to the back room. They all had clown masks on, which Harry thought were rather nice. A man made his way to the front of the crowd and stood there. The rest of the people from the restaurant were all standing behind something, trying to hide. Harry assumed that these men were not rookies then, but an actual gang. What else could explain the fear that they had for them?

The man that had stepped forward reached up and slowly removed his mask. If Harry was expecting something, he wasn't expecting more clown makeup. The man obviously loved going with a clown aesthetic. The gun that he was holding pointed up to the ceiling and a shot went off.

"Hello, everyone!" The man flashed everyone a quick grin. "How are you all doing today," he asked cheerfully, as if he wasn't robbing the place. No one moved to answer him and he didn't seem that bothered by it.

"Puddin', I got the cash out the register!" The man turned towards the voice and grinned.

"Thank you, Harley darling. Now," he turned back to his crowd. "Who here wants to go first?"

Harry didn't have any money, so he just stood there, taking in the atmosphere. He loved the smell of fear on a summer's day. The Dursleys, however, took what the man said out of context and pushed him forward. Hmm. This was probably part of their plan. Oh, how fun! He purposely tripped right towards the man, catching himself on the man's legs.

"Sorry, Mr…" Harry didn't know what to say, so he left it there. The man bent down and took his face, rolling his head in his hands.

"You're a bit far from home, aren't you, kid?" The man chuckled. Harry grinned, nodding.

"Yup! I'm from Surrey. I'm here with my relatives," he gestured towards the Dursleys, giggling when the man kept rolling his head. Not many people liked touching him and Harry found that he really liked it. The man looked over and smirked. Harry thought that he looked a little crazy, his eyes always wide, but who was he to judge.

"Your relatives, huh? They don't like you?" he asked, wiggling his painted eyebrows. Harry looked back at them and laughed.

"Oh no! They hate me because I'm a freak," his eyes unconsciously imitating the man's. He glanced back at the Dursleys before leaning closer to him. "I think that they're hoping that you'll kill me. Will you, Mr.? Kill me?" Harry whispered, a childest lilt to his voice. The man pretended to think for a second.

"Hmm. I don't think I will. Your relatives, however?" He suddenly grinned. "Well, they look like they _want _me to kill them," he laughed, turning to the woman from before. "Don't they, Harls?"

Said woman grinned back and nodded. The man stood and gestured his hand towards the Dursleys. The henchmen that weren't collecting jewelry, which Harry is surprised that he didn't notice, went to grab the Dursleys. Harry watched them with a grin. This was so much more fun that his plans. He'd have to thank the man later.

"Mr. What's your name?" Harry really wanted to know. The man turned his attention back to him.

"You can call me Joker, kid." They grinned at each other. Harry really liked this man. Joker. What a nice name.

"Okay, Joker!"


End file.
